Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Boys.

When I was at my parents' house on Sunday, my mom pulled out a folder of my old grade school stuff.  I found this note in there. 


4th grade.  The year when baby fat ruled my world and sticks and stones would have been a welcome change of pace.  If given a hot tub time machine, I would travel back to 1989 and thank those little shitheads, whose daily heckling helped me discover my backbone and inadvertently taught me a lesson that I'll carry on to my own kids one day.

Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be a-holes.

11 comments:

  1. There are far worse things in the world than being an ADORABLE elephant with pretty impressive penmanship and punctuation for a 4th grader (says the mom of a 4th grader).

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  2. You are so cute.

    I would never heckle you. Fat elephants rocks.

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  3. and if those assclowns could see you now: fierce baking skills & the beer know how.

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  4. Ugh, bullies. FTP (f*ck those puto(a)s.) (A parenthesis within a parenthesis followed by another! Like Inception!)

    I'd like to thank my bullies for making realize how awesome I've been my whole life. Suck it, jerks.

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  5. I can't believe you were this witty at such a young age. I think all the wit I have, I studied in college or something.

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  6. That poem I wrote you when you graduated from high school 13 years ago tells it all-- "She shows her love, creating pools of emotion in my heart. My baby Alison, my daughter, my treasure."

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  7. This further proves that people who were bullied in school almost always turn out to be the coolest people in real life. Here's to all the bullies out there(those assholes)who have helped turn us into people with real character and integrity.

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  8. Hi Ali! I love that your mom saved this for you! Kids can be so mean. If they could see you now!!!

    Thank you so much for stopping by my blog! I appreciate your sweet comments regarding my blog title and cabinet makeover. Hope you have a wonderful weekend.

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  9. Hey I'd rather be a happy fat elephant then a mean person.

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