Three Baking Sheets to the Wind

It could be worse.

2011-05-13T13:37:00.006-04:00

Yesterday will go down in history as a date that will forever live in cyberspace infamy.

Yesterday Blogger crashed.

Thankfully, the site is now back up and running. But unfortunately for the people who compose their Friday posts on Thursday nights, this was a bit of a thorn in my ass.

Your regularly scheduled Sugared Cinema post and the photos to accompany it are sitting on the Mac at home with no place to go. Sorry folks. Although I suppose it could be worse.

I could be stuck in an elevator with a porcupine coming off of a three day speed binge.

I could be the designated Quality Control taster at the Grape Nuts plant.

I could be Naomi Campbell's personal assistant.

I could be the editor-in-chief for the National Tax Journal.

It could be Thursday.

Happy Friday, kids. If you see Blogger, smile and give them a discreet little warning pinch in the side for me.

Boys.

2011-05-10T11:40:00.002-04:00

When I was at my parents' house on Sunday, my mom pulled out a folder of my old grade school stuff. I found this note in there.

4th grade. The year when baby fat ruled my world and sticks and stones would have been a welcome change of pace. If given a hot tub time machine, I would travel back to 1989 and thank those little shitheads, whose daily heckling helped me discover my backbone and inadvertently taught me a lesson that I'll carry on to my own kids one day.

Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be a-holes.

Sugared Cinema: Stand By Me (1986)

2011-05-06T08:20:00.001-04:00

I'm kinda hungry, who's got the food?

Oh shit! Did anybody bring anything?

No! Gordie?

No.

Oh, this is great. What are we supposed to do, eat our feet?

You mean you didn't bring anything, either?

Well shit, this wasn't my idea, this was Vern's idea! Why didn't you bring something?

What am I supposed to do, think of everything? I brought the comb!

Great, you brought the comb! What do you need a comb for? You don't even have any hair!

I brought it for you guys so...

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Let's see how much money we've got.

Ok, I've got a dollar two...sixty-eight cents from Chris...sixty cents from Teddy...

Seven cents, Vern?

The year was 1986. Paul "Dundee" Hogan received a Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Musical or Comedy. A pre-home videoed Tommy Lee married Heather Locklear. And Rob Reiner, who would go on to direct future classics like The Princess Bride and When Harry Met Sally (both of which I've not seen much to the dismay of anyone with eyes), helped bring one of Stephen King's short stories to the big screen. Stand By Me.

While my childhood adventures never included a search for dead bodies, the movie always evokes a nostalgia for those final days of summer spent with friends. Before the reality of a new school year set in, before the #2 Faber-Castells were sharpened, before the insomnia inevitably kicks in the night before the first day...there were those Stand By Me days.

Today's recipe is in honor of one of the best narrative scenes from the movie and, quite possibly, in cinematic history.

Slowly, a sound started to build in Lardass' stomach. A strange and scary sound, like a log truck coming at you at a hundred miles-an-hour. Suddenly, Lardass opened his mouth, and before Bill Travis knew it...

...he was covered with five pies worth of used blueberries. The women in the audience screamed. Bossman Bob Cormier took one look at Bill Travis and barfed on Principal Wiggins, who barfed on the lumberjack that was sitting next to him. Mayor Grundy barfed on his wife's tits. But when the smell hit the crowd, that's when Lardass' plan really started to work. Girlfriends barfed on boyfriends. Kids barfed on their parents. A fat lady barfed in her purse. The Donnelley twins barfed on each other, and the Women's Auxiliary barfed all over the Benevolent Order of Antelopes. And Lardass just sat back and enjoyed what he'd created - a complete and total...barf-o-rama.

Blueberry Pie. Easy as...well yeah.

Recipe from pickyourown.org

Makes one 9-inch pie

3-4 cups blueberries, fresh or frozen
2/3 cup granulated sugar
7 Tablespoons cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon allspice
3 Tablespoons water
2 Tablespoons lemon juice
one prepared pie shell

While this recipe calls for a 9-inch pie plate, I couldn't resist using my grandma's old mini pie tins. They were just too darling to pass up.

Preheat your oven to 375 F.

Rinse and drain the blueberries with cold water. Remove any stems and mushy berries from the bunch.

In a medium bowl, combine the dry ingredients: sugar, cornstarch, cinnamon and allspice. Mix well.

Add the water and lemon juice and mix well. Again.

Pour the blueberries into the prepared crust. Pile 'em up. They'll shrink down as they bake.

Evenly pour the sugar-liquid mixture all over the berries.

Cover the top with another round of pie crust and pinch the edges to seal. Cut a few slits in the top to vent.

Brush the top with a mixture of beaten egg and a small amount of water. Bake the pie for 1 hour.

Let the pie cool before cutting. If you have the patience, it tastes even better the next day.

In case it wasn't obvious by the shoddy crustwork and use of pre-made dough, pies are foreign territory to me. This filling is ridiculously easy to make and totally piqued my interest in pie-making. Just gotta work on the crust.

So yeah. Make this pie. It's awesome.

P.S. It won't make you barf.

If.

2011-05-03T10:01:00.006-04:00

Hey. Let's forget about work for a few minutes. Go ahead and minimize that mind-numbing spreadsheet. Put your phone on "Do Not Disturb" mode. The weekend is only four days away and I vote we do something fun. Let's play a round of "If..."

Album

Movie
Food
Drink
Something sweet

If you could watch/listen to/consume only one of each for the rest of your life, what would you pick?

Album: Hmm. Three-way toss up between Amy Winehouse - Frank, the Sweeney Todd soundtrack and N.E.R.D. - In Search of...

Movie: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Food: Pizza. I know. So predictable. A suitable answer for a kindygartner. But this is a craving that never goes away. Pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening, pizza at suppertime! The jingle engineers over at the Bagel Bites HQ had the right idea, even though I never questioned the fact that suppertime and the evening are pretty much one and the same.

Drink: iced tea, unsweetened or Yards Pale Ale

Something sweet: a fudge brownie

Now, my choices aren't necessarily my all-time favorites. The key here (since we are talking eternity and all) is replay value. For example, Fleetwood Mac's Rumours = one of the best albums of all time. But would I want to listen to it everyday? With the exception of The Chain, probably not. My favorite dessert is a butterscotch bread pudding they serve Berry White's restaurant. Freaking insane. But would I be able to eat it everyday? No. It's a dessert I prefer to save for special occasions or every other week, whatever comes first.

Now a brownie, on the other hand, is an entirely different story altogether. To bite off the words of Juno MacGuff: as far as sweets go, brownies are totally boss. They are the cheese to my macaroni. And I could, without a doubt, eat one every day until the end of days.

I used a boxed mix for the Sex Panther brownies a few weeks back but it wasn't until a hankering hit the other day that I realized I didn't have a go-to recipe for "from scratch" brownies.

King Arthur came to my rescue.

Seriously Ridiculous Fudge Brownies

Recipe from King Arthur Flour

Makes 2 dozen brownies

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter

2 1/4 cups granulated sugar

4 large eggs

1 1/4 cups Dutch-process cocoa

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon espresso powder (I omitted this)

1 Tablespoon vanilla extract

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

2 cups chocolate chips (omitted these, as well)

Preheat your oven to 350°F. Lightly grease a 9" x 13" pan.

In a medium saucepan set over low heat, melt the butter. Stir in sugar. Heat until the mixture is hot (but not bubbling) to help dissolve more of the sugar.

In a separate medium bowl, combine the cocoa, salt, baking power, espresso powder (if using) and vanilla. Beat in the eggs.

Add the butter mixture to the bowl and stir until smooth.

Finally, add the flour (and chips, if using them) and stir once more until smooth. The battle will be thick like delicious, chocolate-y mud.

Pour the batter into your prepared pan. Bake for 25-30 minutes or until it passes the toothpick test.

Cool completely before hacking in.

Yep. Great replay value.

Busybiotch.

2011-04-29T00:34:00.001-04:00

Between cleaning up after an incessantly pukey feline, stifling some major waterworks after repeated viewings of the final Harry Potter trailer and preparing for a custom cupcake order for Saturday, I just didn't have the time to put together a Sugared Cinema post. I lose.

The days leading up to a big order are typically filled with a nervous kind of energy, the kind that requires just about every ounce of my attention and that can only be alleviated with a 5-7% ABV beer (any higher and there won't be any cupcakes left to deliver) and one of our 2-at-a-time Netflix rentals playing in the background.

Current selections being:

Trying to decide which one would pair better with a baking and piping session. Hm.

Have a happy weekend, guys. Peace, love and Claritin®.

When in doubt, doodle.

2011-04-26T21:38:00.000-04:00

If I had a band member for every time I asked myself, "What do I want to do with my life?", I'd have enough band members to form the original Funkadelic.

Life is weird and question-y this week.

Sugared Television: Ren & Stimpy (1991-1996)

2011-04-22T00:31:00.007-04:00

What rolls down stairs

alone or in pairs

rolls over your neighbor's dog?

What's great for a snack

and fits on your back?

It's Log! Log! Log!

Before there was Spongebob.

Before there was Fairly Odd Parents.

Before there was even The Powerpuff Girls.

There was Ren Hoek and Stimpson J. Cat.

The quickest route to feeling old and jaded? Watch five minutes of a prime time Disney Channel show. The other night, driven by sheer curiosity and a fermented bottled beverage, I let my clicking thumb slacken once it reached the Disney Channel. Disappointing, I tell you. Some questionable fashion choices, too. Egads.

It's not even a matter of wholesome "ahh, the good ol' days" yearnings. Any Ren & Stimpy fan knows that couldn't be further from the truth. It's the originality that's missing! The off-color humor! The flatulent breakfast superheroes! The jarring visual of a beaver gnawing on the exposed nerve of a rotting tooth!

That's what's missing. Maturity.

This post has been brought to you by Sugar Frosted Milk, Pretty Kitty Litter and Log by Blammo!

Ren & Stimpy Log Cookies

You'll need:

rolled sugar cookie dough

4 batches of royal icing (see colors below pic)

Dark Brown for the outline and wood grain details.
Brick Red to fill in the wood.
Tangerine for the top of the log.
Salmon-y Pink for the spot details.

This is a pretty basic tutorial. If you have any questions about which piping tips I used, colors, etc feel free to email me. I promise I won't stalk you (unless you work for, are related to or personally know Alan Rickman.)

Print and cut out the log. This will be your template.

Place the template on chilled, rolled cookie dough and trace around it with an Exacto knife. While I typically like a fatter cookie, I roll the dough out to a 1/4" thickness when doing more intricate designs. The cookies hold their shape better.

Bake and cool the logs.

Outline with the dark brown icing. Let sit for a few minutes while it firms up.

Flood the tops with tangerine icing.

Then flood the body with the red icing.

While the red icing is still wet, carefully pipe elongated dots of pink icing on top of the red.

When the flooded areas have set, pipe on the wood grain details.

It's better than bad. It's good.

Spring Cleaning.

2011-04-19T01:10:00.001-04:00

My patio is looking quite busted these days.

The scene is usually the same this time of year. The Little Shop of Horror weeds have pushed their way up through the cloth lining and thinning layer of pea gravel. Clumps of dry pine needles collect in dark crevices that I dare not touch with a gloved hand or a disposable chopstick. The ferns are fireballs waiting to be ignited by some douchey neighbor or passerby with a smoking (and littering) habit.

Dead lifeless foliage aside, I really do love the space. On an old episode of Designed to Sell, Lisa LaPorta (cute little thang) explained to the homeowners that they needed to think of their outdoor area as an extension of their home. I try to heed her advice and treat our little 12' x 18' rectangle of outside space as another room. A room to grill in, to entertain friends in and to soak in all of the sunlight that we typically miss out on from living in a humbly-sized condo on the ground level.

Oh, and there's just enough room to display my priceless objet d'outside arts.

Like the jaundiced gnome who clearly needs to get out and see more parts of the globe.

(There's no escaping the punnage. Not in this home.)

The cheery winged pig who, after three treacherous winters, has resisted rain, wind, snow and patina.

Resourceful lushery.

I can't help but wonder if I'm headed down that road. You know, that road that leads you to that house with that lawn with the flamingos and the pinwheels and the wooden cutout of a portly gardening woman's buttcheeks.

If you ever sense that I'm heading in that direction, you have permission to throw a flaming fern in my face's general vicinity.

Alright, this patio is begging for some new life. Time to get crackin'.

For Once in My Life.

2011-04-15T01:30:00.017-04:00

"Where's my pitcher?"

It seems fitting that the first words to come out of my mouth upon meeting Berry White were beer-related. Back then, I didn't realize how sentimental they would prove to be for us later in life. At the time, craft beer was but a glint in our bottles of Amstel Light - the fanaticism wouldn't fully set in for a few more years. But hey, I was promised a pitcher of cheap beer in return for dance floor support at one of his gigs (which I didn't attend but that's beside the point) and I was simply trying to collect.

Our paths first crossed in 2001 by way of a DC area electronic music forum. At first, our interactions were sporadic but a few years down the road, we discovered that we went to the same parties, spent many of our Friday nights at Buzz (Studio 54 for the DC rave scene, if you will), hung out in overlapping social circles and shared a strong passion for music and spinning records. One flirty Myspace comment led to another and eventually, we met in person.

Predictably, a syrupy, disgustingly sweet love affair ensued shortly thereafter. I say predictably only because I knew long before "real life" introductions were made that I wanted to hang out with this guy. Fantastic taste in music. Cute hair. And funny! So damn funny. Man, he could make me laugh.

Baltimore, 2007. Sweaty warehouse rave. Febreze would have been nice.

Our lives have changed a bit since we first started dating. We've since hung up the headphones and broadened our musical horizons. Late nights in DC have been replaced with Saturday afternoons in the Whole Foods beer section. We've giddily sung along with friends at their wedding receptions. Celebrated the births of their children (soon to include another special l'il lady who we'll be meeting in a few weeks.)

We've sipped a saison on Holbox sand.

Been stopped in mid "WTF are we going to do for breakfast?" conversation by an oncoming parade in downtown Montreal, which included Scott Niedermayer in one of those Grey Poupon cars.

Watched loved ones get tipsy on our wedding beer.

But at the end of the day, after all the beer has been consumed and the overnight bags have been unpacked and the playoff games are over, it's just me and that guy. The guy I refer to as Berry White, a painfully clever combination of his last name and obvious Caucasianness. Darkenetiks. Mike. My husband.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy 2nd Anniversary, roomie. Thanks for making my life one big slumber party.

Peanut Butter Fritters. Finally.

2011-04-12T22:41:00.005-04:00

2007.

Do you know I've had this recipe on my radar for almost four years now? FOUR. And I'm just now getting around to making it. Not that this should come as a huge surprise to myself or to anyone who knows me. Procrastination and I go way back, further back than I care to admit here or to any of my future hypothetical offspring.

The procrastinating game is a lot harder to master when you're a child sharing living quarters with the Homework Nazi (love you Mom!) Not once did she buy into my "But I work better under pressure!" rebuttal. Had I known then what I know now, I would have given myself more than a night's worth to create that Charlotte's Web diorama and made these fritters as a peace offering to her for being a mom who simply gave a damn.

Peanut Butter Fritters

Recipe from Everyday with Rachael Ray

3/4 cup flour

1/3 cup brown sugar, packed

1/4 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/8 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 cup buttermilk

3 Tablespoons creamy peanut butter

1 large egg

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

peanut oil, for frying

whipped cream and jam, for serving

Preheat your oven to 200 degrees.

In a medium bowl, combine the the dry ingredients: flour, brown sugar, baking powder, salt and baking soda.

In a small bowl, whisk together the wet ingredients: buttermilk, peanut butter, egg and vanilla.

Pour the wet ingredients over the dry mixture and stir until combined.

Pour peanut oil into a small, deep saucepan until there's about 1 1/2 inches of oil. Heat on medium-high until the oil hits 310 degrees. It starts to climb pretty quickly so keep an eye on your thermometer.

Carefully drop rounded teaspoons of batter into the oil, working in small batches. Fry the fritters for about 1 1/2 minutes on each side until lightly browned. Use a slotted spoon to transfer them to a paper towel-lined, oven-safe plate. Keep the fritters warm in the oven while you work through the remaining batter.

Fantastic when plain.

Fantasticer with whipped cream and jam.

These are money. Although I don't suggest waiting four years to discover that for yourself.

Sugared Cinema: Anchorman (2004)

2011-04-08T00:39:00.004-04:00

I'll give this little cookie an hour before we're doing the no-pants dance. Time to musk up.

Wow. Never ceases to amaze me. What cologne you gonna go with? London Gentleman, or wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard's Delight.

No, she gets a special cologne...it's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries. Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.

Will Ferrell is a given. That we've always known. But Paul Rudd? Who would have thought that he would turn out to be such a funny dude? I didn't think he had it in him. Certainly not after seeing him settle into the good guy role in Clueless and Romeo + Juliet. There's only one explanation: Sex Panther. It's amazing what a little dab can do for your funny bone(r.)

Sex Panther Brownies

brownies, cooled and cut into squares

2 1/2-inch circle cookie cutter

green frosting

molding fondant

black food coloring

Wilton decorating tip #234 (the "grass" tip)

I should mention that I am by no means an artist or sculpter. I studied a picture and tried to replicate it as best as I could. If you are able to make this look more cat-like, do it up. But here's a basic tutorial to get you started.

Start with a ball of fondant, about 2-inches in diameter. Shape it so the bottom tapers slightly.

Pinch and raise a small portion of the fondant to form ears.

Pinch the center to form a small bridge where the nose and upper lip will be. Do the same towards the bottom to form a bottom lip.

Use a rounded shaping tool or chopstick to push underneath the upper lip on both sides. Use a sharp tool or knife to mark the nose and eyes.

Push the point of a shaping tool or chopstick under the eyelids to form an area for the pupils.

Use a toothpick to shape the eyes.

Roll two tiny bits of fondant into a fang shape. Brush a little vodka on the end of the tooth and into the cavity and gently push it in until it sticks. Repeat with the other tooth.

Now you're ready to paint the little guy. Mix some black food coloring with about a tablespoon of vodka. Paint the panther head, making sure to keep the teeth and eyes white.

Dip a toothpick into the vodka/coloring mixture and carefully add the pupils.

Let the sex panther dry while you work on the brownies.

Press the round cookie cutter about halfway into a brownie. Remove the center (you may need a knife for this part.)

Pipe frosting grass all over the surface and in the center of the brownie.

For Anchorman authenticity purposes, I pushed the cookie cutter back into the hole. But you can leave it out otherwise.

Gently place the head into the center of the brownie.

Sex Panther.

They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time.

Have a great weekend, friends. Stay classy.

When yoga doesn't cut it.

2011-04-05T00:37:00.000-04:00

Yeah.

It was that kind of Monday.

Brb. Setting up surprise guillotine for next week's Monday.

Sugared Cinema: Fight Club (1999)

2011-04-01T00:05:00.008-04:00

Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war...our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

I wish I could say that it was Chuck Palahniuk's novel that drew me to this movie. Or Brad Pitt and his "industrial discotheque" wardrobe. Or the grimey, pulsing Dust Brothers score.

No. It was definitely Ed Norton.

I've since moved on from him (from an infatuation standpoint, at least) but Fight Club still remains his 2nd best film.

I wanted to create a cake modeled after the trademark soap, one that would be suitable for, say, Tyler Durden's retirement party. I've also been wanting to try my hand at poured fondant and this was the perfect cake to experiment on. Unlike traditional fondant, poured fondant is simple to make, easy to dye (anyone who's worked with the other stuff knows what a bitch it is to color) and creates a smooth, shiny (and soap-like!) surface. Think giant petit four.

Fight Club Soap. That You Can Eat.

You'll need:

2 pound cake loaves (Sara Lee is fine)

fruit jam

a batch of Quick Pour Fondant
pink food coloring (I used Wilton Rose)

Slice a thin layer off the top of one of the pound cakes. You want a smooth, flat base for the letters to rest on. Trim a little off of both ends, rounding out the corners so that it resembles a bar of soap.

Cut the other loaf into 1/4-inch slices. Carefully cut out the letters using an Exacto knife or something equally sharp. You should be able to get 2-3 letters out of each slice. Save the scraps and make yourself a parfait.

Apply a glaze to the cake. This will help the fondant stick to it more uniformly. To make the glaze, put a few spoonfuls of jam into a bowl and thin it out with a little bit of water. Microwave for 15-20 seconds then lightly brush onto your cake.

Carefully arrange the letters one last time then transfer the cake to a cooling rack set over a baking sheet. Prepare and dye the fondant using the recipe I linked to above.

When the fondant is ready, pour it evenly over the cake.

To clean up and define the areas between the lettering, I cut a drinking straw to about a 4-inch length and used it to blow out the excess fondant. It sounds odd but it's really not. It's a lot like the last 30 seconds of a drive-thru car wash when the leftover droplets are blasted off your windshield by that enormous air cannon.

And you're done!

Hm. Something's missing.

There. Much better.

(To make "suds", pour some heavy cream into a bowl and whip it until it starts to foam. Skim the suds off the top and spoon them onto your soap.)

Welcome to Fight Club.

The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club! Third rule of Fight Club: if someone yells "stop!", goes limp, or taps out, the fight is over. Fourth rule: only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule: one fight at a time, fellas. Sixth rule: the fights are bare knuckle. No shirt, no shoes, no weapons. Seventh rule: fights will go on as long as they have to.

And the eighth and final rule:

if this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to eat this cake.

Well then.

2011-03-29T00:05:00.001-04:00

That bowl, the one with the zesty tangerine tuile batter oozing from its pitiful cracks, was the middle child in a set I bought a few years ago. When Berry White and I made the decision to not only become roommates but to buy our first humble home together, we started stocking up on items that we needed for the lovecrib. The 3-piece Pyrex set was one of our first purchases.

I'm sure many of you can attest to the fact that those plain glass bowls are nothing fancy and easily replaceable. And certainly not worth blogging about. Perhaps even a bit too heavy for pulling in and out of cabinets on a daily basis.

But I really loved that damn bowl.

Its shards are securely wrapped in an old Lord & Taylor bag in our trash bin, waiting to be transported to the county landfill for burial. Meanwhile, its older and younger siblings remain awkwardly stacked away on a shelf, trying not to notice the empty space left behind and between them.

Rest in many pieces, medium Pyrex bowl.

But I hope you don't expect me to tip some of my beer for you. That's just wasteful.

Sugared Cinema Remix: Angry Swan

2011-03-25T00:55:00.001-04:00

I had the craziest dream last night about an angry bird who has turned into a swan, but her prince falls for the wrong bird and she launches herself at a stack of pigs.

He picked me, Mommy! I'm the new Angry Swan Queen!

Happy Friday.

I'm going going back back to Philly Philly.

2011-03-23T01:22:00.002-04:00

So we meet again, Philly.

This past Sunday, Mike, some friends and I attended the 4th Annual Philadelphia Real Ale Invitational hosted by Yards Brewing Company. Tickets sold out rather quickly and with good reason: this ain't your mama's brewfest.

Attendees were free to roam the brewery, help themselves to some delicious food and, the best perk of all, were given a cool commemorative beer mug to hold unlimited (and often heavy-handed) samples of over 20 cask ales from a variety of Mid-Atlantic breweries.

Cask ale (or "real ale" as it's often called) is unfiltered, unpasteurized beer that is conditioned in the same container it is served from (the cask) without any forced carbon dioxide. It's about as natural as it gets.

We started making our way down the list. My initial plan was to alternate between low and high ABV beers but eventually, I went for whatever appealed to my tastebuds regardless of alcohol percentage.

Betty's Speakeasy. Amazing fudge. Adorable staff, to boot.

A brewery is only as good as its t-shirts.

A beer t-shirt is only as good as the feisty Ecuadorian who wears it.

<3 Natalya.

Oh that?

That's just a mac and cheese hot dog. With bacon.

Funkdafied musical stylings for the event were provided by The Jazz Horses and The Sermon!, a band from West Chester, PA. After the show, two of The Sermon! guys showed us a vintage tube amp they use during their sets which, up until that moment, I would have guessed was the world's first Lite Brite. Pretty cool stuff.

And with a final toast, the Philadelphia Real Ale Invitational came to a close.

It was such a great time. I'm already looking forward to the next one. A bonus if it's within walking distance by this time next year.

(I've been bitten by the moving bug. Hard.)

We'll see what happens. In the meantime, I leave you with my best PW impression.

License and registration.

2011-03-22T00:02:00.001-04:00

We ate. We drank. We got pulled over.

Twice. In the span of 20 minutes.

If this whole baking thing doesn't pan out, there's always undercover photography.

Tomorrow: cask ales, fisticuffs and the most glorious hot dog ever created.

Sugared Cinema: Casual: The Series

2011-03-18T08:24:00.002-04:00

All I'm saying is if you really like this girl, don't let her go. I've just watched you push away so many good things and I'd hate to see you keep doing it. Sometimes there's shit that's worth it.

What initially started as a show of support for my friend Lauren has turned into a full-blown viewing addiction. Just when I thought I couldn't possibly afford to add anymore vices to my sugar- and beer-filled existence, this little crack rock of a web series entered my life.

Casual follows a Girl (Lauren Marini) and a Guy (Brian Thomas Smith) as they feel their way through the sweet aftermath of a one night stand. There's no denying that these two really dig each other outside of the bedroom yet they remain somewhat guarded, in the event that one of them comes to the realization that their impromptu night of nookie was exactly that...a casual thing.

Jay Diaz, the writer and director of Casual, has created a series that is emotionally tangible (even if your sexual or romantical escapades are a thing of the past), sweet and engaging. The chemistry and dialogue between Girl and Guy comes across as genuine and refreshingly unscripted. There are also some seriously funny one-liners from the supporting talent (particularly in Casual 2.1) and the soundtrack is pretty money, too. Broken Bells sealed the deal for me.

Go to www.casualseries.com and start with Episode 1. While you're at it, "Like" Casual: The Series on Facebook for future show updates. The next episode will be airing soon and stars Mary Jo Deschanel (you know, Zooey and Emily's mom.) I'm predicting big things for these guys.

As it turns out, Lauren is also quite the little bakestress on the side. She was awesome enough to send me some of her personal favorites, including her tried-and-true, classified cream cheese icing recipe (which I will not be giving up because I'm a total jerko) and a clone recipe of Levain Bakery's famously huge (in reputation and in size) chocolate chip cookies from the Vanilla Sugar blog, to name a few.

I had a tough time narrowing it down to one but once she mentioned that her friends almost started dishing out bitch slaps one bite into the chocolate chip cookies, my mind was made up.

Levain Chocolate Chip Cookie Clone

Recipe by Vanilla Sugar

8 ounces (2 sticks) unsalted European butter

3/4 cup granulated sugar

3/4 cup light brown sugar, packed

2 large eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

3 cups all purpose flour

3/4 teaspoon sea salt

1 1/4 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

12 ounces good quality semisweet chocolate chips or chunks

1 cup walnuts

Use a cheese grater to grate the butter into a bowl.

In a large mixing bowl, beat the grated butter and both sugars just until combined. Add egg and vanilla extra and beat again until just combined. Don't get too crazy with the beatings.

In a medium bowl, combine the flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt. Mix well.

Add the flour mixture to the mixing bowl and stir until blended. Add the chocolate chips and walnuts and give it a good mix. Since it's a drier dough, Vanilla Sugar suggests using your hands for this step. It helps A LOT. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and chill in the fridge for a few hours or, even better, overnight.

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees F.

Roll the dough into 12 large 4-ounce balls and place on ungreased baking sheets.

Chill the sheets in the fridge for 20 minutes while your oven is heating up.

Bake for 8 minutes at 375 degrees then reduce the temperature to 325 and bake for another 8 minutes until set and light golden brown. Transfer to a rack to cool.

Make the cookies. Watch the show. Start working on that bitch slap.

Orange slice in your beer?

2011-03-15T00:15:00.002-04:00

Some things are just better off without a head.

shrimp
the Headless Horseman
Peking Duck
Maximilien Robespierre
Spencer Pratt

Beer, on the other hand, is not one of them.

Head is important (that's what he said) because it contains so much of the beer's aroma. By thinning out the head, you're depriving yourself of all of the fragrant loveliness that lies within those bubbles.

Can you guess what can cause the head to dissipate?

Yep. An orange slice.

The citric acid and the oils from the orange break down the head and can distract (and even overpower) your tastebuds, preventing them from experiencing the full flavor of the beer. Major thumbs down.

The whole "orange slice in your beer" thing is, more or less, a marketing gimmick made popular by the fifth largest brewing company in the world. Care for a little back story?

16 years ago, Coors Brewing Company gave birth to a wheat beer that would eventually become one of the most commercially available wheat beers on the market. In an effort to keep the Coors name from tainting the beer's "craft-brewed" image and credibility, they slapped "Blue Moon Brewing Company" on the box.

And Blue Moon was born.

A brewer at Molson Coors admitted that the addition of an orange slice to Blue Moon was "mostly for attention-getting" when being served. Hey man, I get it. They have a product to sell. I just won't be buying it for my own fridge, not when there are so many other, tastier offerings from smaller craft breweries.

Next time the bartender reaches for that little box, the one with the plastic cover that houses all the fruit garnishes, I encourage you to smile, put up your hand and say, "Save it for the sangria, honey child."

Then take a sip of your beer. The one with the head. The one without the orange.

The moral of the story:

Don't decapitate your beer, kids.

Coughie Break.

2011-03-11T00:58:00.000-05:00

To add to my highly unsuccessful Family Guy pitch, I have a new idea (this time, a documentary) that I'm keeping in a safe mental hiding place, in hopes that someday it will be brought to life or YouTube.

The idea: a documentary that takes you into the homes of people suffering from severe colds or the flu and discovering what kind of ensembles they put together.

Think about it: when you're achy and whiny and fighting a scorching fever, style is a non-issue. You bust out the old, tattered guns and get ready for battle. The fleece emblazoned with the company logo that you won as a door prize from the office party. The red sweats with a half dollar-sized hole in the crotchetal region and death-grip elastic on the ankles. The Isotoner skid-free socks. For the duration of your body's internal war, these pieces become your uniform, your second skin.

I spent a good chunk of the past week in this hot little number.

Christmas in March. Wheeee.

Thankfully, I'm starting to feel like a normal human being again. I'm ready to push these threads to the way bottom of the hamper and rejoin society. Sugared Cinema will return next Friday and I have to admit, I'm a bit partial to next week's installment. A dear friend not only passed along a spectacular recipe (a clone of a highly drooled-over baked good from a very well-known NYC bakery) but will also be featured in the "cinema" portion of the post. Big stuff! I'm super stoked.

Have a great weekend, everyone. I wanted to leave you with an article linking beer to a healthy immune system but couldn't find such evidence. Yet.

Lonely tart shell seeks easy pastry cream.

2011-03-09T08:21:00.001-05:00

By now, that tart shell from yesterday is probably starting to wonder.

What if they had a change of heart?

What if I'm not worthy of a creamy filling?

Who was this character in the hospital? And why was he trying to kill Nordberg? And for whom? Did Ludwig lie to me? I didn't have any proof, but somehow, I didn't entirely trust him either. Why was the 'I Luv You' not listed in Ludwig's records? And if it was, did he know about it? And if he didn't, who did? And where the hell was I?

RIP Frank Drebin. This tart's for you.

I was tempted to add chocolate to this pastry cream but in the end, classic and simple won. This works wonders in cream puffs or eclairs but today, it's going in our tart shell.

Pastry Cream

Recipe by Ina Garten

Enough to fill one 10-inch tart

3 extra-large egg yolks (I used 4 large)

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1 1/2 Tablespoons cornstarch

1 cup whole milk

1 Tablespoon unsalted butter

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 teaspoons heavy cream

1 teaspoon Cognac or brandy

Beat the egg yolks and sugar on medium-high for 3 minutes until pale yellow.

On low, beat in the cornstarch.

In a medium saucepan, bring the milk to a boil. Then, with the mixer on low, slowly pour it into the egg mixture. Once it's well mixed, pour the mixture back into the saucepan.

Cook over medium heat until thick, whisking constantly.

Bring to a boil then cook on low for 2-3 more minutes. Give it a taste to make sure the cornstarch is cooked thoroughly. Give it a taste anyway because it's delicious.

Remove from heat and mix in the butter, vanilla, cream and liqueur. At this point, you can strain it if you see lumps in the cream but I opted not to. It was already pretty smooth.

Pour into a bowl, cover with plastic wrap and put it into the fridge until cold.

Spread the pastry cream into the prepared tart shell and top with fresh fruit.

I told you it was easy.

Kicks tart my heart.

Oh yes, Vince Neil. I went there.

Tart Crust: A Perfectionist's Nightmare

2011-03-08T00:21:00.002-05:00

Five years ago, I made my first tart from scratch. It was Thanksgiving. I had no prior experience to compare it to so I didn't stop to overthink or analyze the hell out of the technique. I just read the recipe and went with it and was proud of my creation when it was unveiled at the dessert table. It wasn't until this past weekend that I realized just how much of a nightmare a tart crust can be for someone with occasional perfectionist/OCD tendencies.

It's a lot like riding The Spider at a local carnival.

This is a toy. The real thing looks much scarier and doesn't have a marching band in front.

As a kid, I was all gung ho about those pack-and-play amusement rides. At 7 years old, "what if"s are the last thing on your mind when you're surrounded by all sorts of colorful, flying, cotton candied stimuli. For nostalgia's sake, I decided to ride the Spider at the 4-H Fair last summer and, I'm not exaggerating, it was absolutely terrifying. I had this bizarre, clown-like grin frozen on my face for the duration of the ride, a futile attempt to convince myself that I was having fun. In reality, my mind was going through every terrible, apocalyptic scenario imaginable until it eventually settled on the fact that the guys who pieced together this death machine probably didn't tighten the S-bolts or whatever they're called and the little round car that Berry White and I were riding in would be hurtled into neighboring Reston.

That's what tart crusts are like.

This recipe is from The Barefoot Contessa Cookbook. It's a simple recipe and makes for a pleasantly sweet, sugar cookie-like crust.

Tart Crust

Recipe by Ina Garten

Makes one 10-inch round tart

3/4 cup unsalted butter, room temperature

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour

pinch of salt

In a large bowl, use an electric mixer to mix the butter and sugar just until combined. Add the vanilla and mix again.

In a medium bowl, sift together the flour and salt and add to the butter-sugar mixture.

Mix on low speed until all of the ingredients are combined. The dough will be crumbly, like this:

At this point, you can pour the mixture into the tart pan or pour it out onto a work surface and slowly add it to the tart pan, a handful at a time. Start pressing the dough into the bottom of the pan and work your way up the sides.

And this is where the OCD kicks in.

No joke, I must have worked my fingers around the pan at least 10-15 times, trying to make every single fluted edge uniform. If I pushed down just a little too much in one area, I had to make sure the others were pushed down evenly as well. You know what happens when you cut your own bangs, right?

Once the tart crust has been formed to your liking (45 minutes later in my case), chill it until firm.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

Place a piece of buttered aluminum foil on the crust, buttered side down. Fill it with dried beans or rice to weigh it down.

Bake for 20 minutes.

Remove the foil and beans/rice, prick the crust all over with a fork then bake for another 20-25 minutes until lightly browned.

(I forgot to set the timer so my crust is wee bit browner than I like. Oops.)

Let the crust cool before filling.

Oh right! We need to fill this shell with some sort of deliciousness. More on that tomorrow.

Sugared Cinema: Can't Hardly Wait (1998)

2011-03-04T02:03:00.004-05:00

Things I couldn't hardly wait for in 1998:

High school graduation.

Going to get my first (and only) facial piercing after feeling inspired by Jonathan Davis' eyebrow in Korn's Got the Life video (shut up!)

Heading off to college in Philadelphia, only to come to the (very, very wrong) realization that I wanted to stay local to be with my (then) boyfriend. Had I known then that parting would have, in actuality, been the sweetest un-sorrow ever, I would have packed my bags and jumped on the first train to the City of Brotherly Love.

Ahh well. You live, you learn, you get a full-time job at Esprit before going back to school.

Can't Hardly Wait came out when I was the same age as the characters in the film so naturally, I felt like I could really relate to them. Really feel what they were going through.

Well, maybe not Amanda Beckett so much. But definitely Denise. And possibly even William.

You see the salt on this pretzel? Look at the stars. Some people, they say the stars are billions and billions of tons of hot gas. But I think maybe, maybe it's just God's salt. And God's just waiting to eat us.

The truth is out there. And William is going to uncover it.

Today's recipe is from Christa Rose over at Le Petit Brioche. If you haven't checked out her blog, you've been missing out, not only on her wit, humor and gorgeous pictures but these pretzels, too. Her pretzel recipe has received over 1,000 reviews on Allrecipes.com and was featured in the Allrecipes cookbook, Dinner Tonight. Being a former Auntie Anne's junkie myself, I was left with no choice but to make them.

Buttery Soft Pretzels

Recipe by Christa Rose at Le Petit Brioche

4 teaspoons active dry yeast

1 teaspoon white sugar

1 1/4 cups warm water (110 degrees F)

5 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup white sugar

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

1 Tablespoon vegetable oil

1/2 cup baking soda

4 cups hot water

kosher salt, for topping

In a small bowl, mix the yeast and 1 teaspoon sugar in the warm water. Let it stand for 10 minutes.

In a large bowl, combine the flour, 1/2 cup sugar and salt. Make a well in the center and pour in the oil and yeast mixture. Mix until it forms a dough (if it's too dry, add 1 or 2 Tablespoons of water.)

Knead the for 7-8 minutes.

Lightly oil a large bowl. Place the dough in the bowl and turn to coat with oil.

Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and let it rise in a warm place until doubled in size (about an hour.)

Preheat your oven to 450 degrees. Grease a baking sheet.

In a large bowl, dissolve the baking soda in the hot water.

Divide the dough into 12 equal pieces. Roll out each piece into a rope and twist into a pretzel. Dip each pretzel into the baking soda mixture and set on the greased baking sheet. Sprinkle kosher salt over the pretzels.

Bake for 8 minutes or until golden brown.

So good! These pretzels are soft, perfectly chewy (none of that overly doughy yeastiness) and taste best when eaten straight out of the oven. You can eat them plain or brush them lightly with butter and sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar.

That mall aunt doesn't stand a chance. Thanks Christa Rose!

Happy Friday, ya'll. Time to find me a house party.

Stout Creme Brulee.

2011-03-01T01:04:00.007-05:00

I was raised on handwritten sentiments. Notes, cards, letters, messages on the pad of paper next to the telephone. To this day, my mom sends me a card every Easter, Christmas, Valentine's Day, birthday, Arbor Day, Daylight Savings...day. This is despite the fact that our mailboxes are just 6.5 miles apart.

There's one note in particular that I vividly remember. She left it in my lunchbag. It was a small, pink, heart-shaped sticky with scalloped edges and it was taped to my sandwich.

"Don't let the turkeys get you down."

4th grade was a cruel year and she knew it.

I've inherited the same note-writing tendencies and frequently leave them around the house for Mike to find. We operate on entirely opposite work schedules and there are some days when the easiest (and most amusing) way to communicate is via sticky note.

I found a ridiculous recipe for stout creme brulee on brew.cook.pair.joy. While mine didn't turn out quite as pretty, it tasted incredible. I left the individual brulees in the fridge for dude to snack on in the early morning post-work hours.

Stout Creme Brulee

Recipe from brew.cook.pair.joy

Here's what you'll need:

6 ounces heavy whipping cream

4 ounces half and half*

6 ounces stout**

2 ounces bittersweet chocolate

1/2 cup granulated sugar

4 large egg yolks

1/8 teaspoon salt

sugar, for torching/broiling

*I didn't have half and half on hand so I substituted 2 ounces heavy cream and 2 ounces milk.

**I went with my old faithful, Southern Tier Oat. Yum.

Preheat your oven to 325 degrees.

Place the chocolate in a medium heatproof bowl. Set aside.

In a saucepan set over med-low, combine the cream, half and half and stout and bring to a simmer.

Pour the cream mixture over the chocolate and whisk until the chocolate is melted.

In a large bowl, whisk the yolks, sugar and salt. Slowly whisk in the hot cream mixture.

Strain into a measuring cup. Preferably one just slightly larger than this one.

Place 4 small (6-8 oz) ramekins in a deep baking pan. Carefully pour warm water into the pan to come halfway up the sides of the ramekins.

Bake for 65-70 minutes or until the centers are no longer jigglypuffs.

Remove the ramekins from the pan and transfer to the fridge to chill for at least 3 hours.

The centers fell slightly after I took them out of the oven. Maybe because of the half and half substitution? Not a huge deal to me but if you're a presentation freak, be forewarned.

When ready to serve, sprinkle a thin layer of sugar on top of the custard. Pick your fire source (blow torch, broiler, Hungarian Horntooth) and heat the sugar until it caramelizes.

I placed the ramekins on the top rack under the broiler for about 30 seconds.

I burned them.

Or so I thought.

The top turned out juuuust right. Crunchy and caramelized. Like a layer of sugary ice on a frozen pond, as cornball as that sounds. There are few things more satisfying than tapping your spoon on top and breaking through that first layer. The great thing about this particular beer dessert is that the stout doesn't bake off, as it often does in cakes. It was rich and roasty and mingled wonderfully with the bittersweet chocolate.

As I was getting ready for work the next morning, I opened the fridge to get my lunch and found this in place of one of the ramekins.

Duly noted.

Sugared Cinema: 127 Hours (2010)

2011-02-25T00:18:00.002-05:00

3 Reasons why I absolutely must see 127 Hours:

1. James Franco. I wanted to punch him in Spider-Man. Became an insta-hardcore-fan after Pineapple Express. The monkey's out of the bottle now!

2. The true story behind it is fascinating.

3. I encountered a similar fate when I was 7 years old. I locked myself in the trunk of a rental car and would have died from suffocation or melodrama had my dad not heard me screaming my ass off. I can relate to this movie.

In honor of this Oscar-nominated film, I present to you...

127 Hours Cake Boulders

If you're not hip to the current cake pop phenomenon, clearly you've been living under a rock. (Ha?) No worries, they're crazy easy to make.

Here's what you'll need:

a baked cake (from a boxed mix is fine)

frosting (canned is also fine)

candy melts or dipping chocolate

I had some leftover stout cupcakes that I was willing to sacrifice for the sake of this post.

Crumble up the cake into a bowl.

Mix in a spoonful of frosting at a time until the cake holds its shape when squished.

Roughly form 1 1/2-inch balls and place on a baking sheet. You don't want them too round - these are supposed to be boulders. Stick the baking into the freezer to firm up while you melt the candy melts or chocolate.

Dip the boulders into the melted candy melts or chocolate and transfer to a lined cookie sheet to firm up.

Drop boulder onto arm.

Can you imagine being trapped for five days under a giant boulder made of chocolate cake?

Worth severing your own arm over.

Happy Oscars weekend. Fingers crossed for Christian Bale.

On your mark. Get set. _______ .

2011-02-22T07:40:00.002-05:00

Here's a little game I like to play.

When I put something in the oven, I set the timer. In the time it takes to bake whatever is in there, I have to complete at least one chore around the house. Obviously, some tasks are better suited for certain bake times. Putting away laundry works great with a sheet of cookies whereas waxing the floor is better saved for a pound cake.

In the 35 minutes it took to bake a loaf of whole wheat bread, I managed to clean, organize and reminisce through the kitchen junk drawer.

To help me relax.

(I kid, I kid. It's just catnip. Easier on the throat.)

Berry White and I used to buy records from Strangeland until it went under a few years ago. It was one of the last remaining brick and mortar record shops in the area. RIP Strangeland.

We run a mature household.

Alright, let's get this bread started so that you can set your timer and tackle the _____ .

No-Knead Whole Wheat Bread

Recipe from the back of the King Arthur flour bag

1 cup lukewarm water

1/4 cup orange juice

1/4 cup melted butter or vegetable oil

3 Tablespoons molasses or maple syrup

2 teaspoons instant yeast

1/4 cup nonfat dry milk*

3 cups whole wheat flour

1 1/4 teaspoons salt

*I didn't have any dry milk on hand so I substituted the dry milk and the water with 1 cup of milk.

Grease an 8 1/2" x 4 1/2" loaf pan.

In a large bowl, combine all (that's right, ALL) of the ingredients. Beat on high for 3 minutes.

Scoop the dough into the loaf pan.

Cover the dough with lightly greased plastic wrap and let it rise for 90 minutes.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Slide the pan into the oven and let it bake for 15 minutes. Place a piece of tented foil over the dough and let it bake for another 15-20 minutes until the internal temperature hits 195 degrees.

Let it cool in the pan for 5 minutes then turn it out onto a rack to cool completely.

The best thing since sliced this.

Mmm. Nutty, moist and great toasted and topped with butter and honey.

Not a bad reward for ____ing the _____ in under __ minutes.

And the winner is...

2011-02-18T02:03:00.002-05:00

Random Integer Generator

Timestamp: 2011-02-18 06:16:25 UTC

Congrats Stacy! Email your full name and address to threebakingsheets [at] yahoo [dot] com. If anyone wants coasters for their home bar, send me your info and I'll drop some in the mail.

Time for me to get cracking on that hand selected 6-pack. Stouts and porters...light, crisp summer beers....not a fan of IPAs...

Oh yeah. This is going to be good.

Happy Furniture Sale Weekend, everyone.

Candy is dandy.

2011-02-16T00:19:00.001-05:00

But ~~liquor~~ beer is quicker.

Last week was a doozie. I was still feeling a little off from the stomach bug I caught over the weekend but I had no choice but to drag ass into work on Monday. The department was two travel agents short and I was on call for our after hours emergency line. To top it all off, I was anticipating a gift from Mother Nature, which is a totally inappropriate topic of conversation to discuss on a food blog but anyone who knows me knows I'm not one to mince words when it comes to matters of TMI.

You can imagine the ball of fun I was last week.

BUT! This week is different. I'm no longer on after hours duty (at least until my turn comes around again next month), the DC area will be seeing its first balmy day of the year and I have a 3-day weekend chock full 'o nothing to look forward to. All signs are pointing to awesome.

Naturally, I've been celebrating with beer. Drinking it, giving it away and even turning it into candy. I found a recipe for beer lollipops on the Celebration Generation blog and I gotta say...it's pretty genius. The recipe lists hop cones or pellets as one of its ingredients. I didn't have any on hand so I omitted them. I also didn't have lollipop sticks so I made candy drops instead.

Beer Candy

1/2 cup beer

1 cup granulated sugar

1/2 light corn syrup

Lightly butter a baking sheet. Set aside.

In a heavy saucepan, combine all 3 ingredients. Over medium-high, bring the mixture to a boil then place a candy thermometer into the saucepan. Stir the mixture until the temperature reaches 300 degrees.

Remove the pan from heat and let it cool for a minute while you continue stirring.

Use a spoon to drop spoonfuls (as opposed to forkfuls) of the candy mixture onto your baking sheet. It starts to firm up pretty quickly as it cools so this is where you want to (carefully) pick up the pace. Try not to burn the crap out of yourself.

If you prefer freeform candy pieces or are prone burning the crap out of yourself, pour the entire mixture into the pan. Once the sheet is cool, you can break it like you would peanut brittle.

I want candy.

Some of the hoppiness cooked off in the process so I want to try adding the additional hops next time around. The malt is the dominant flavor and when combined with the caramelized sugar, it is delicious. I want to experiment with this candy using different types of beer. What do you think? A stout? Or maybe a rich, figgy dubbel? Yeah, definitely a dubbel.

Because you can't spell "Valentine" without "ale."

2011-02-14T00:41:00.002-05:00

Happy V-Day, kids.

A Beer Giveaway!

2011-02-11T00:55:00.005-05:00

So I just realized, one year and five giveaways later, that I haven't done one beer-related giveaway. Not one. For someone whose blog was half-built on a foundation of malted waves of grain, this is a big deal.

With that day just around the corner, I thought it would be refreshing (in more ways than one) to show some love for the less appreciated "sheets to the wind" side and, in turn, pass that love onto you. Not with a heart-shaped box (not even Nirvana could make that gift appealing.) Not with a mylar pouch filled with helium. Not with a "Shit Bitch, You is Fine" bear.

But with beer. And stuff.

One winner will get:

a 6-pack of craft beer, hand-selected by yours truly. Not that having me pick out the beers that may eventually take up residence in your fridge is any sort of privilege but I can personally guarantee that each beer will be carefully chosen with love and with your (and only your) tastebuds in mind.
a fancy beer glass
a bunch of unused brewery coasters leftover from my and Berry White's wedding

For a chance to win the box of brew loot, answer the following question in a comment below:

Do you like beer?

Simple as that. If you love it, what's your favorite style/example? If you don't, why? The more detailed your answer, the better. Should you win, your comment will help me determine what ends up in your personalized prize pack. Is there a beer-lover in your life you'd rather try to win this for? Go for it.

The giveaway ends Thursday, 2/17/11 @ 11:59pm EST. One winner (of legal drinking age, of course) will be selected at random.

Oh, and if you're wondering about the whole shipping thing, well...consider me a postal rebel. They can take our beer but they can't take our freedom fries.

Cheers ya'll.

AR.

2011-02-08T00:01:00.001-05:00

After this weekend, calamari and I are taking a break from each other. Could be a month, could be a year - only my gastrointestinal system knows for sure. Regardless, it's been a great ride and we've experienced so many memorable batters and aiolis. Parting is such sweet, squided sorrow.

But in the end, not even a bout of food poisoning could put a damper on this:

For 2 1/2 hours, I got to see and hear Alan Rickman in all his unedited, unadulterated, velvety-voiced brilliance. All from less than 50 feet away. Amazing doesn't even come close.

I'd go into more detail but I am completely worn out. To reiterate my woeful FB status update, I'm giving myself 12 more hours then it's time to snap out of little bitch mode. In the meantime, I'm going to snuggle up with a box of Saltines and fall asleep to a nice, lighthearted flick.

When life hands you chocolate, make Alan Rickman.

2011-02-04T00:22:00.008-05:00

Tomorrow, I'm hopping a bus to NYC to spend 24 glorious hours with my Uncle Gabe. A few weeks ago, he sent me an email asking if I was able to come up on February 5th. He's aware of my borderline creepy obsession with Alan Rickman and said he could get tickets to John Gabriel Borkman at the Brooklyn Academy of Music. My uncle also started researching bars in the area and narrowed them down to a short list of places based on their beer menus.

You know how every family has that one "cool uncle"? Yeah, that's Uncle Gabe.

Last weekend, he spent a few hours parked in front of BAM's stage door to scope out the Rickman situation. There is a very (sur)real possibility that I may score an autograph and that I should bring a Harry Potter book that I want signed, just in case. Naturally, I'm going to bring Half-Blood Prince. Duh.

I've been wanting to give chocolate painting another go for a while now and I thought, "What better subject to work with than Alan Rickman?" After Berry White, that is.

It takes some fine tuning but the process itself is actually pretty easy.

First, select a picture. This proved to be the most difficult part. Do I go with Hans Gruber? Colonel Brandon? The Sheriff of Nottingham?

I went with a classic, shexshy head shot.

Next, open the picture in Photoshop and turn it into a stencil. I used a tutorial I found on Melissa Evans' site. She breaks it down step by step, in a very user-friendly way. Super cool site.

Cut out the stencil and tape it to a piece of cardboard. Then tape a piece of waxed or parchment paper over it.

Use melted chocolate (bittersweet, semisweet, whatever you want) to paint the black areas. Pipe it on over larger areas and use a toothpick for the small details and to fill in spots. It's a lot like flooding a cookie. Let the layer set in the fridge.

Next, use a lighter chocolate (I mixed white candy melts with a dab of brown food coloring) to add in highlights. Place it back in the fridge to set.

Finally, cover the entire stencil with white chocolate. Make sure it's warm enough to spread but not so warm that it'll melt the first two layers.

Put it back in the fridge to let it set one more time. I got a little excited and took it out a little too early so be patient and give it some time. Your picture will turn out more polished.

Take it out of the fridge, flip it over and very carefully remove the cardboard.

Ta-da!

Edible Alan Rickman. Sort of.

Maybe more like an Alan Rickman/Bob Odenkirk hybrid.

Chocolate painting is a really cool technique to play around with. Use different colored candy melts, add text/words, make smaller stencils to create personalized cupcake toppers of your cat's face...anything, really. My skills could use some sharpening - I'll give it another go after the giddiness subsides.

Happy Friday, everyone.

P.S. And please: if you're going to consume any beer this weekend, for the love of all that is holy, malty and hoppy, go micro.

Bust a cap.

2011-02-01T08:23:00.000-05:00

Please disregard the messy countertop. And the sad empty wine rack. And my so-dated-they-could-almost-pass-for-retro cabinets (which I just so happen to love.)

Let's focus on the fishbowl in the upper right hand corner. Mike put that bowl up there when we moved into our place almost three years ago. It has since become a point of interest in our humble little avocado-colored kitchen.

If you've ever been to our home then you know the rule:

If you open a beer, you gotta sink the cap.

It had been months since I checked the top of the cabinets but I needed to get up there to take down my cookbooks and move them to a more convenient spot that didn't require a stepstool and Van Damme quads any time I needed a recipe.

Someone needs to work on their shot.

So many beers. So many memories. So many...hangovers.

I think it's time to empty the bowl and make room for all of the Nugget Nectar and Hopslam caps waiting to be popped off in our fridge. But I can't bring myself to throw away all of our hard "work."

I half-jokingly toyed around with the idea turning them into a backsplash but that kind of move will get you shot on Trading Spaces.

Any ideas?

Sugared Cinema: Pretty in Pink (1986)

2011-01-28T01:24:00.004-05:00

You know you're talking like that just because I'm going out with Blane.

Blane? His name is Blane?! That's a major appliance, that's not a name!

(I know, I thought it was spelled "Blaine", too.)

Out of all of John Hughes' films, I connected most with Pretty in Pink. That movie had deep, heart-to-heart conversations with my adolescence and it took my emotions on a 96 minute joyride in Andie's pink VW Karmann Ghia.

While I typically side with the funny/quirky guy (especially one who can move to Otis Redding), I really wanted things to work out with Blane. Andrew McCarthy was one of my earliest crushes, brought on by Pretty in Pink and fueled by Less Than Zero. It came to a screeching halt after Weekend at Bernie's but I will always have a soft spot for Blane and his full, feathered hair.

Andie and Blane's story closely parallels today's unconventional recipe. Two people (or ingredients) from different ends of the social (or culinary) spectrum, come together to form a relationship (or cookie.) Their common bond? Love (or oatmeal.)

Oatmeal Stout Oatmeal Cookies

Original recipe by Wayne Harley Brachman

Makes 2 dozen

Here's what you'll need:

1 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

2 cups rolled oats (not the instant kind)

8 Tablespoons unsalted butter, room temp

1/2 cup light brown sugar

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1 large egg

1/4 cup oatmeal stout (I used Southern Tier Oat)

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

3/4 cup semisweet chocolate chips

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Grease or use parchment paper to line a few baking sheets.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the dry ingredients: flour, baking powder, baking soda and oatmeal.

In a large bowl, beat the butter and both sugars until combined.

Add the egg and beat well.

On medium-high, beat in the stout and vanilla.

On low, gradually add the flour mix until just combined. Stir in the chocolate chips.

Roll the dough into 1 1/2-inch balls and place them a few inches apart on the baking sheets.

If your dough is too soft to work with, cover the bowl with plastic wrap and let it chill in the fridge for 30 minutes.

Bake for 10-12 minutes until the edges are nicely browned.

Transfer the cookies to a cooling rack to cool completely.

So, I gotta say: these cookies are SUPER tasty. Crisp outside and a dense, chewy center. The taste of the stout is pretty subtle so if you want a more pronounced stout flavor (you lush), try adding more beer (and upping the flour and oatmeal amounts) or using a roastier stout.

I bet you thought I was going to make some sort of pink-hued confection, didn't you?

Nobody pulls off pink like Andie.

Happy Friday.
(Cue New Order - Thieves Like Us. Instrumental version.)

I'm a little cupcake.

2011-01-25T00:42:00.001-05:00

I'm a little cupcake, tiny and hip

here is Cinnamon...

...and Mint Chocolate Chip.

when you get a box of me

you will flip

more temptation than the Vegas strip.

My uncle (whose praises I will be publicly singing at some point after February 5th) sent a few boxes of these sweet little bebes back with my sister after her recent visit with him in NYC. He picked them up from Baked By Melissa, a NY bakery that specializes in miniature stuffed cupcakes.

Opening the box was like walking into a room full of sleeping kittens. They were all just so perfect and adorable. Which one should we pick up first? Oh, I couldn't possibly disturb them. Not when they look so peaceful. Fine, let's eat one.

A menu came with the box, with descriptions of each cupcake. The cuteness just kept piling up.

Mike and I sat down with our treasures, read about each cupcake and slowly made our way through the dozen. In one sitting. One 15-minute sitting.

Hey now. Guilt is nonexistent when it comes to Lilliputianized cupcakes.

With the exception of the Red Velvet (which was a smidge dry), the cupcakes were surprisingly moist - not an easy feat to pull off when working with cakes on such a small scale. The fillings are a great addition and really help up the "oomph" factor (très important when you're paying a buck a bite.)

The most obvious plus, of course, is their size. Forcing me to settle on one or two cupcake flavors is enough to reduce me to angry tears, particularly during a certain window of time each month. These quarter-sized cupcakes give you (or your diet or your waistband) room to sample more flavors. Chocolate Chip Pancake, S'mores, Cookies & Cream...collect them all!

Fact: Baked By Melissa cupcakes are the new Lay's potato chips.

Sugared Cinema: Resident Evil (2002)

2011-01-21T01:25:00.002-05:00

At the beginning of the 21st century, the Umbrella Corporation had become the largest commercial entity in the United States. Nine out of every ten homes contain its products. Its political and financial influence is felt everywhere. In public, it is the world's leading supplier of computer technology, medical products, and healthcare. Unknown, even to its own employees, its massive profits are generated by military technology, genetic experimentation and viral weaponry.

Quick flashback:

It's 1998. Berry White and his two best friends, Tony and Allen, are high school juniors by day, aspiring drum and bass djs by night. And as every trio of vinyl-spinning comrades knows, a dj crew isn't a proper dj crew without a name. One with meaning. One based on a video game.

And thus...Resident Evol was born.

Much has changed in the last 13 years. Tony lives in Germany with his wife, Vera, and their sweet little boy, Alex. Allen is a kickass graphic designer (the guy behind the header you see up top) with an equally kickass wife, Jaimie. Mike is pursuing a career in beer with the support of his wife (who has the brewbelly to prove it.) But no matter where life takes them, Resident Evol will live forever in their hearts.

And on their ankles.

Alright, let's get to baking. Alice (the hot, gun-toting heroine who also happens to be played by Mike's favorite source of celebrity eye candy, Milla Jovovich) needs our help bringing down the Hive.

Resident Evil Cookies

rolled sugar cookie dough

3 batches of royal icing (black, white, red)

To get the octagonal shape, I printed and cut out the Umbrella logo.

On rolled sugar cookie dough, trace around the template with a sharp knife or Exacto knife.

Trim any excess dough from the cookie.

Bake and cool the cookies.

Once cool, pipe the outline using black royal icing. I found that making an "X" then piping in the remaining lines from center to point was the easiest method.

Flood the segments, alternating with red and white royal icing.

Allow to dry for a few hours before attempting to escape.

Will you heed the Red Queen's warnings?

Just one bite, one crumb from these cookies is sufficient. And then, you become one of them.

Enjoy your weekend...if you dare.

Choose Your Own Biscotti.

2011-01-18T07:43:00.002-05:00

Unless you have some sort of weird aversion to delicious crunchy things, I think it's safe to say that there's a biscotti out there for everyone. It's such an easy, laid back, "hey, whatever man" treat. You can add as many or as few ingredients as you want, depending on your degree of creativity (or laziness.)

Let's take a look at the possibilities (feel free to chime in):

dried cranberries
walnuts
mini chocolate chips
pistachios
dried mango
espresso powder
almonds
hazelnuts
crack rocks
flax seed
peanut butter

In the words of Black Sheep: the choice is yours.

To continue with the tropical kick I've been on as of late, I decided to go with toasted coconut and macadamia nuts for add-ins. Dried pineapple would have rounded it out perfectly but I didn't have any on hand. Next time, definitely.

Toasted Coconut and Macadamia Nut Biscotti

Adapted from Giada De Laurentiis

Makes about 2 dozen biscotti

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

3/4 cup sugar

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temp

1/4 teaspoon salt

2 large eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla

2/3 cup shredded coconut, toasted*

3/4 cup macadamia nuts, chopped

Optional: white chocolate for drizzling

*some prefer toasting coconut in the oven but I just do it on the stove. Spread an even layer in a pan set over medium heat and stir constantly until it starts to brown. Just keep an eye it - it can burn pretty quickly.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour and baking powder. Set aside.

Using an electric mixer, beat together the sugar, butter and salt in a large bowl until well mixed.

Beat in the eggs one at a time. Mix in vanilla.

Add in the flour mixture and beat until just combined. Stir in the coconut and macadamia nuts using a sturdy spoon or spatula.

"Sturdy" being the operative word here.

Form the dough into a log about 12-inches long and 4-5 inches wide.

Slide it into the oven and let it bake for 35-40 minutes until golden brown.

Let it cool for 30 minutes.

Carefully transfer the log to a cutting board. Using a serrated knife, cut into 3/4 inch-thick slices. I find that short sawing motions make this step a little easier and keeps the dough from crumbling.

Place the biscotti back onto the baking sheet.

Let them bake for another 10-15 minutes, until golden(er) brown. Transfer the biscotti to a wire rack to cool completely.

Melt some white chocolate and drizzle over the biscotti (I left half of them naked.) As bizarro as it sounds, I occasionally crave them sans chocolate.

Crispety. Crunchety. And better than a Butterfinger, if you ask me.

The Garden Isle (and a winner!)

2011-01-14T01:35:00.003-05:00

So. Kauai. Did I mention I'm moving there?

A few minor details still need to be ironed out (a job, a place to live, etc.) but I think once I let Berry White in on the plan to completely uproot our lives, things will start to fall into place.

Unfortunately, Mike wasn't able to make it on the trip but luckily, he was able to experience it in the next best way: through photos, stories and a suitcase stuffed with island grubbery. Because as we all know, the food is almost always the best part of a vacation.

The 2nd day in, we went to visit my Auntie Evelyn and my cousin Ryan. It had been about 17 years since I last visited and I forgot how beautiful the view was from their porch.

Auntie Evelyn took us into my uncle's garden and it was thriving with all sorts of fruits, vegetables, flowers and lush greenery. My Uncle Sho passed away two years ago and she and Ryan have been taking care of the garden ever since. I swear, he could put anyone's green thumb to shame.

Auntie Evelyn gave us plastic grocery bags to fill up with whatever we wanted. It was like being in a candy store. A healthy, tropical candy store.

We took the bags back "home" with us to enjoy with breakfast throughout the week.

Breakfast being:

If you go to a McDonald's in Hawaii and order a Big Breakfast, it comes with scrambled eggs, Portuguese sausage and rice. Had there been time for me to hit one up, I would have broken my almost one year streak of being McDonald's-free in a heartbeat.

My mom wanted to score a box of breakfast/lunch goodies from the Menehune Food Mart. It looks like your average convenience store but they're known for their local fare, especially their fresh manju (a soft rice/flour confection filled with sweet azuki bean paste.) They sell out quick so if you snooze, you lose, bruddah.

Goteborg sausage and rice.

Manapua (steamed pork bun.)

Spam musubi.

Loooove. Spam haters, hate on.

The thing my sisters and I were looking forward to most on the trip (food-wise, that is) was to making a stop at Sueoka's, a small grocery store with a snack shop on the side. Ever since we were kids, it's been our favorite place to eat on the island.

They pile all of the food into a plain cardboard box top. Nothing fancy - just cheap, ridiculously yummy beach food.

And it's the same thing every single time: teriburgers.

Teriyaki-marinated steak, lettuce and thousand-island dressing on a bun. I could eat one of those jokers every. single. day. Three times a day, even.

Of course, it wouldn't be a proper trip without beer. Good, can't-get-this-stuff-at-home beer.

I'd been dying to try Maui Brewing Co. CoCoNut Porter long before the trip. Similar to a stout, it's bold, roasty and brewed with toasted coconut. Amazing beer.

Some of the mainland states carry Maui Brewing Co. but Virginia's not one of them. Bummer.

I made sure to get my fill.

If you're in need of a quick, 10 minute mental break, feel free to check out the rest of the pics on my Flickr page. If you're trying to figure out where to go on your next vacation or are debating which Hawaiian island you want to visit, the pics taken from the helicopter should help make that decision a little easier.

And now (I feel like the opening band just performed and I'm getting ready to announce the headliner), it's time for one lucky reader to win a Tassimo T20 Brewbot.

RANDOM.ORG

Here are your random numbers:

Timestamp: 2011-01-14 06:08:24 UTC

erinmakesitwork said...

Breakfast...definitely the best thing about mornings. Breakfast and desserts tie as my favorite food groups of all time.

Congratulations Erin! Email your name and address to threebakingsheets [at] yahoo [dot] com and we'll get your Brewbot sent out to you. Enjoy your new toy!

A huge thanks to all who entered - I loved reading all of your responses. Whether it's your pets, smooches from the kids, a morning jog, turning on some classical music, that first piping hot mug of coffee or simply a few peaceful minutes to yourself, there's something to make every morning a little more bearable.

Have a kick ass weekend, everyone.

(Next week: the return of Sugared Cinema.)

An Open Letter to Family Guy and Robot Chicken.

2011-01-11T08:24:00.003-05:00

Dear Seth MacFarlane, Seth Green, Matthew Senreich and Cherry with the long last name,

Hi. I have a show idea.

(Grooooan.)

It originated in February 2008 but I haven't had the means (or nads) to execute it. At this point, it's just sitting on my conscience like an overdue bill. I need to unload it to open up some space, in case my mind decides to conjure up any other mildly humorous bits in the future.

I considered starting this off with a sample segue but when I presented the idea to a friend over Gshat the other day, the delivery was just terrible.

So I drew it.

Only Zoltar's not really singing. He's just sitting there with his mouth open. In almost complete silence with the exception of some mic feedback! Oh-ho-ho!

And that's my brill idea.

I know, I know...Family Guy has only a few episodes left in Season 9 and Robot Chicken just kicked off its newest season. I'm sure ideas (from random food bloggers, no less) aren't in high demand. But if you would be so kind to tuck this humbly-drawn depiction of 80's-film-prop-nostalgia-meets-Live-at-Linens-n-Things into one of your brain tissue folds, I would be eternally grateful.

Sincerely,

Ali Berry

For those of you still here, well...let's be honest. The chances of any of the Family Guy or Robot Chicken crew seeing this post are pretty slim. But I'm not going to let terrible, unbeatable odds get in the way of the mission. Want to be part of my fevered campaign (because this is nowhere near viral) to see this dusty, 3 year-old idea come to fruition? Click on any of those little "Share" buttons below. Post this to your Facebook page. Tweet about it to @Seth MacFarlane and @SethGreen (hashtag: #zoltar)

Remember that part in Wayne's World 2 where Wayne asks Cassandra if she's having an affair with Bobby? (Or for the more "mature" crowd, the Faberge shampoo commercial?) If you tell 2 friends then maybe they'll tell 2 friends...and so on...and so on...

And with that, I can check #1 off my Life List.

Win a Tassimo T20 Brewbot!

2011-01-07T00:57:00.005-05:00

I can't make coffee. This is a fact.

Last year, I decided that I wanted to start making my own coffee at home. I bought some filters, picked up one of those fancy orange bags of Dunkin' Donuts coffee (which, apparently, the world runs on) and got to brewing.

First attempt: the mission was cut short when I realized I had bought cone filters and the coffeemaker required those big peanut butter cup-looking filters. Strike one.

Second attempt: the coffee came out super weak. I looked at the directions on the bag. Oh right. Use tablespoons. Not teaspoons. Smart. Strike two.

Third attempt: I didn't sleep for 4 nights. I put a smidge too much Hulk strength behind my scoops. Strike three.

There's got to be a better way!

And there is.

The Tassimo T20 Brewbot.

Beep boop bop boo beep.

This innovative little dynamo of a machine uses single-serving discs to make seven (7!) different beverages: coffee, tea, espresso, cappuccino, latte, crema coffee (think coffee with a creamless frothy top) and hot chocolate.

The Brewbot comes with a box each of Starbucks espresso and creamer discs to get you started.

Each disc has a barcode printed on the label. The Brewbot reads the barcode and brews your specialized beverage accordingly. Pretty nifty, huh?

And perhaps my favorite thing about the Brewbot: it literally has two buttons: On/Off and Start. When you're running late and your hoverboard is ready and waiting to launch, you don't have time to mess with extra bells and whistles. This makes the brewing process SO easy.

Alright, watch how simple it is to make a cappuccino.

1. Pop in the milk disc. Press the start button.

2. Remove the milk disc and pop in the espresso disc. Press start again.

3. Greetings, cappuccino.

Is your kitchen counter just begging for one of these? ~~For a chance to win your own Tassimo T20 Brewbot~~ (contest is over - thanks everyone!) all you have to do is answer this:

What's the best thing about your mornings?

Trick question, I know.

Leave your answer in a comment below.

Fine Print: Contest open to US residents only...sorry! Contest ends 1/13/11 @ 11:59pm. (1) winner will be drawn at random and announced on Friday, 1/14/11. While this giveaway is sponsored by Bosch, the opinions expressed here are the views of the writer and probably reflect the views and opinion of the geniuses at Bosch as well because it's a dope product and I can't wait to give my other coffeemaker the boot.

Good luck everyone! Happy weekend to all.

Rosie, you're no longer needed here.

Happy 1st Anniversary to, uh...this.

2011-01-05T20:15:00.000-05:00

A year ago today, after a long pep talk with my inner critic, I posted this:

Two things you should know about me.

The photos were rather busted. One of my objectives derailed the first week in. But it was my first post. And damn it, I was proud.

Going in, I don't think I truly understood how much work went into running a blog. That a few times a week, I would be up until at least 2am, editing photos or trying to plow through a writer's block before cashing in on a few hours of sleep prior to the workday. Or that it was possible to go through a body pillow-sized bag of all-purpose flour in a single week.

Or that I would ever grow a pair and enter a cupcake contest.

Or that I would find myself standing in the presence of an internet Superwoman.

Or, most importantly, that I would have the support of so many incredibly talented, creative and simply badass people whose blogs, comments and feedback are a source of inspiration for me on the regular.

So thank you. Thanks for sticking around and making this tiny, insignificant area of the internet feel like a home to me. Grammatical errors, yellowed pics, overly long site address and all.

To show my sincere gratitude, I've teamed up with the people over at Bosch to give away a cardboard box. After all, paper is the traditional gift given for a 1st anniversary.

Oh, and the box will have one of these inside.

Details on Friday.

And again, thanks. I big, bloody, muscle-y heart you guys. Ew but true.

Are you on the list?

2011-01-04T01:47:00.007-05:00

2011. A new year.

New ideas. New plans. A new bookcase from World Market to display our scholarly collection of cookbooks, homebrewing manuals and young adult fiction.

At the end of every year, I like to reflect on what I've done with the past 365 days and what goals I hope to accomplish in the new year, both realistic and lofty, way-out-there goals that usually require a bit of free time, money or both.

I read Lan's (of Angry Asian Creations) Live It List on a particularly daydreamy day and was instantly inspired. So I decided to compile one of my own. You'd be surprised at what makes it onto your list. There are things I didn't even realize I had the slightest interest in until I sat down and really mulled over it.

Try it out. It might give you some focus, an idea, a chuckle. Hell, it might even point you in a direction that you never thought imaginable. Deep and borderline cliche (on my part) but totally possible.

My "Live It" List. By Alison H. Berry.

1. ~~Submit a show idea to Family Guy or Robot Chicken~~ (via interweblog)
2. Hike the Kalalau Trail.
3. Skydive.
4. Watch every single one of Alan Rickman's movies.
5. Get a Brazilian wax.
6. Go on a trip. Solo.
7. Get front row seats/standing room at a concert.
8. ~~Run a 5k.~~
9. Learn the choreography to a music video, tape it then play them side-by-side.
10. Drive cross country.
11. Pull off red lipstick without looking freakish and clown-like.
12. Sleep on the beach.
13. Host a Murder Mystery Party.
14. Get Berry White to take a dance class with me.
15. Take a shot of Jager with my wolfpack on a hotel rooftop.
16. Sleep in a treehouse.
17. Ride Drop Zone at King's Dominion without crying.
18. Teach my mom how to swim.
19. Drink coffee on the steps of a New York City brownstone.
20. Go an entire week without TV and internet.
21. Wear a skirt to work.
22. Throw a Harry Potter themed-party.
23. Tour a Trappist brewery.
24. Drink a tripel in Belgium.
25. Display a leg lamp in my window.
26. Learn a really good magic trick.
27. Meet Chef Duff.
28. Learn to hula.
29. Drink wine in Tuscany.
30. Get on a snowboard.
31. Have a kid. Or plural.
32. Swim with whale sharks in Holbox.
33. Eat something totally weird and Fear Factor-worthy.
34. ~~Attend a Bikram Yoga class.~~
35. Stand under a waterfall.
36. Play Hedwig's Theme on the recorder from start to finish.
37. Learn to Double Dutch.
38. Cross a rope bridge.
39. Sing karaoke in front of strangers.
40. Break free from the corporate world.
41. Make a friend while in another country.
42. Buy a Craftsman-style home with my lovedood.
43. "Learn to take life as it comes at you. To make each day count." Well said, Dawson (of the Chippewa Falls Dawsons.)

Now go and make your own list. Print it out and carry it around with you, along with a bright red Sharpie. You never know what you'll be checking off at the end of the day.

I'm still on island time.

2010-12-30T01:12:00.002-05:00

Physically, I'm just about all caught up. My circadian clock is back on Eastern Standard Time and my cold, lifeless feet are finally adjusting to the 50 degree drop.

Mentally, on the other hand...

Yeah.

I'm sorry for being all absent-y the past couple of weeks. I promise to get back on track after the holiday (and hangover) has passed.

Have a safe and happy New Year's! Oh, and if you're going out to celebrate and your area has a Sober Ride program, be a peach and program that number into your phone, mmkay?

Next week: the Garden Isle, TBSTTW's one year anniversary and a pretty sweet giveaway. See you guys in 2011. Exes and ohs and stuff.

Christmas Vacation.

2010-12-17T11:48:00.001-05:00

With this bonus check, I'm putting in a swimming pool! And if there's enough left over, I'm gonna fly you all down here to help us dedicate it.

I can't swim, Clark.

Today is my mom's last day of work. For, like...ever. Today is also the last time she'll ever have to make that chilly, slippery walk from the McPherson Square metro stop to her office building which makes me, her constantly and overly concerned daughter, happy.

To kick off her retirement, my parents, 3 sisters, 3 bros-in-law, 1 niece, 4 nephews and I are going to have our own Griswold Family Christmas in Kauai. While I'm going to miss the crap out of Berry White (new job = no time off), I think with enough sun and mai tais, I'll manage (M3.)

That being said, it'll be a ghost town around here until I get back. Feel free to stop by anytime and putz around - my site is your site. The key is hidden in the fake giant slug near the crepe myrtle tree and there's plenty of beer in the fridge.

Mele Kalikimaka!

Food gifts rule.

2010-12-14T00:26:00.000-05:00

They do.

Money a little snug? Give cookies.
Want to something a little more personal? Give cookies.
Last minute shopper? Give cookies. Slacker.

I know, you already have a ton of bookmarked, printed and dogeared recipes to rifle through this holiday season. But if you have room for one more in your gift-making spree, here are some of my "make again" favorites that were saved from a violent Fargo-style death by shredder.

Chewy Brownie Cookies

Honey-Rosemary Shortbread

PB&J Thumbprints

Pretzel Turtles

Black & White Red Velvet Cookies

And my heart, my love, my everything:

Chewy Chocolate Gingerbread Cookies

My favorite for the 2nd year in a row, after it knocked raspberry thumbprints out of the top spot for Dankest Christmas Cookie.

Happy baking. Happy gift-giving. Happy holidays. Just happy everything, man.

P.S. I've made public jokes at its expense but if I received a Shake Weight in my stocking, I would be overjoyed. I would shake the shit out of that thing. Maybe even cancel my gym membership.

Sugared Cinema: The Holiday (2006)

2010-12-10T00:43:00.005-05:00

Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend.

You're so right. You're supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for god's sake! Arthur, I've been going to a therapist for three years and she's never explained anything to me that well. That was brilliant. Brutal, but brilliant.

Yes, I did it. I jumped from one holiday sap story to another the very next week. 'Tis the season to get sentimental over feel-good movies, right? That and I have a Titanic-sized girl crush on Kate Winslet.

If you're a "judge by the cover" film watcher, I'd understand if The Holiday didn't earn an automatic spot on your Must See list. But if you've already seen it, then you know that Jack Black breaks out of his comedic comfort zone and is actually pretty charming. And that Jude Law almost makes you believe that he's not the jerko that he is IRL (or so I hear.)

(We already know that Cameron Diaz plays the cute card well because she's tall, thin and has good hair.)

There's a particularly sweet scene involving hot chocolate, two adorable little ladies and Mr. Napkinhead.

Every time I see it, I crave hot chocolate. And every time I crave it, I'm usually out of powdered cocoa packets. It never fails and at the same time is a huge fail. Think about that one.

In a no-holds-barred attempt at quashing my chocolate-y urges (ew?), I wanted to seek out the richest, most guilt-ridden hot chocolate recipe on the planet. And I found it in the Max Brenner cookbook, Chocolate: A Love Story.

Wannabe French Hot Chocolate

Recipe by Max Brenner

Here's what you'll need:

1 Tablespoon cornstarch, sifted

1 3/4 cups milk

1/4 cup granulated sugar

1 large egg yolk

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

7 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped or chips

Oh and hey - the batteries in my hot shoe flash peaced out early in the evening so these pics are...well, you'll see.

In a small bowl, whisk together the cornstarch and about 1/4 cup of the milk until the cornstarch dissolves. Whisk in the sugar and the egg yolk.

Pour a little over 1/2 of the milk into a saucepan set over low heat. Bring it to a simmer.

Whisk some of the warm milk into the egg mixture to temper it then pour the mixture back into the saucepan.

Continue to whisk for a few minutes or until the mixture comes to a full boil (it should thicken by this point, almost like a thin custard.) Remove the pan from heat and stir in the vanilla. Strain the custard through a mesh sieve set over a heatproof bowl.

Bring the remaining milk to a boil (I used the same saucepan.) While it heats up, pour the chocolate over the custard.

Pour the hot milk over the chocolate and let it sit and soften for a moment. Now you can stir.

Divide between 2-3 mugs or pour into one humongous reindeer mug. Top with whipped cream, cinnamon, marshmallows, anything you like.

This hot chocolate is no joke. The custard base gives it a rich, almost soup-like consistency and it's toothachingly chocolate-y, which I'm alllll about. Feel free to cut down on some of the sugar or use bittersweet chocolate instead. But please, for the love of Rose DeWitt Bukater, don't let the season go by without making this.

Mr. Napkinhead agrees.

Ahhhhh.

Happy holidays.

They tried to make me go to rehab.

2010-12-07T08:13:00.004-05:00

When I first started getting into cake decorating, I was a slave to the Wilton aisle at the craft store. On my lunch break or after work, I'd drive over to the store (strapped with a 40% off coupon that I Googled and printed off the internet) and start loading up. My arm would shovel full shelves-worth of piping tips and gel colorings into my basket. I was like a contestant on Supermarket Sweep, sans terrible crewneck sweatshirt + polo shirt combo.

Eventually, I was stocked with most of the essentials and I pretty much nipped the habit. I cut my visits down from every other day to about once every other week. I recently hit up Michael's for the first time in a long time. I wanted to browse the holiday items and replenish a few things but was staying away from any and all impulse buys.

Then I saw these.

And Duff's "Hey lady. Buy my stuff." expression.

And I relapsed.

(I would part with many treasures/appendages to work for Charm City Cakes. That bakery's ipod must have the best playlist ever.)

Anyway, texture tiles! Each pack comes with two patterns. I bought the wood grain and brick.

And they're super easy to use.

Plop some fondant on top of the sheet, roll it out and peel it off.

The wood pattern:

I mixed brown gel coloring with a little vodka and used a small brush to paint the wood to give it that fresh, Murphy's Oil polish look.

Great if you're making:

a rustic dollcabin

a Biblical ark

a pirate ship

a replica of the "Whip It" set

I loooove the brick pattern. Fun way to channel your inner Banksy.

Also great if you're making:

an old firehouse

your elementary school

a fondant interpretation of a famous Commodores' song

Hypothetically speaking, if I were a baking enthusiast in your family, I know I would want these in my stocking. Yessiree man.

Sugared Cinema: Love Actually (2003)

2010-12-03T00:39:00.007-05:00

What's that?
It's a cinnamon stick, sir.
Actually, I really can't wait.
Oh, you won't regret it, sir.
Wanna bet?
'Tis but the work of a moment. There we go. Almost finished.
Almost finished? What else can there be? Are you gonna dip it in yogurt? Cover it with chocolate buttons?

Because you didn't see that one coming. A quote from the Rick-Man.

I had always heard good things about Love Actually but I, being the overly picky rom-com viewer that I am, didn't get around to watching it until last Christmas. My mom bought the soundtrack when it first came out (Sunday Morning is her jam) and would play it when she was cleaning the home that her 23 year-old grown ass daughter still occupied at the time. Looking at the tracklist, I didn't realize then that it had a few Christmas covers. In fact, I never once associated the film with the holidays. Of course, all of that has changed. From now on, you'll find Love Actually at the top of my queue every December until Netflix becomes obsolete or I buy the dvd, whatever comes first.

Who do you have to screw around here to get a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit?

Natalie, apparently.

The first time I heard Prime Minister Hugh Grant mention chocolate biscuits, my salivary glands went ballistic. I didn't know what these "chocolate biscuits" were but I immediately knew that I needed them in my life/belly. A quick visit to Wikipedia informed me that biscuits (or digestives, as they're commonly known as) are "a semi-sweet biscuit popular in the United Kingdom."

And they look like this:

And a chocolate biscuit is simply a digestive with chocolate on one side:

It just got better and better.

I found a recipe for chocolate biscuits on the blog, The Obsessive Gardener. This girl was relentless in her quest for the perfect digestive and I bow to her thoroughness. In fact, that's how I'm going to address her, should we ever meet in person or cyberspace. Her Thoroughness. Because these turned out PERFECT.

Chocolate Biscuits (or Digestives)

Recipe from The Obsessive Gardener
Makes a little over a dozen biscuits

Here's what you'll need:

3/4 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup wheat bran*
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar
5 Tablespoons brown sugar
4 Tablespoons butter, diced
1 Tablespoon Crisco
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 Tablespoons half and half
1/3 cup semisweet chocolate chips, melted

*I couldn't find wheat bran. So I pulverized 1/4 cup of rolled oats to smithereens and used that instead.

In a large bowl, combine the flours, wheat bran, baking powder, baking soda and cream of tartar. Mix well.

Add the brown sugar and mix it well again.

Using a pastry blender, cut in the butter and Crisco until the crumbs are pea-sized.

Add the vanilla extract and half and half. If you don't keep half and half stocked in the fridge, a combo of milk and heavy cream works, too.

Use the pastry blender to fully work the liquids into the dough. Form the dough into a ball, wrap it snugly with plastic wrap and let it chill in the fridge for 15-20 minutes.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper.

On parchment paper or a floured surface, roll the dough out to 1/8-inch thickness. If your dough starts to crack, don't sweat it. Just use your hands to patch it up and re-roll.

Use a 2-1/2 inch round cookie cutter to cut out your biscuits.

Transfer to your cookie sheet and prick with a fork. Slide them in the oven and bake for 15-18 minutes until golden. These biscuits are supposed to be crispy so if you're usually tempted to take your cookies out early to maintain some chewiness, fight the urge.

Let them cool on a rack while you melt the chocolate chips.

Slather chocolate on one side of the cooled biscuits.

Crunchy, oat-y, mildly sweet and topped with a layer of chocolate. A simple, delicious treat.

Go on, Prime Minister. Show us your Pointer Sisters dance while we destroy these chocolate biscuits.

Have a great weekend, you saucy minxes.

I need a (festive) drink.

2010-11-30T00:43:00.006-05:00

Or want, rather. I want a (festive) drink. "Need" implies that I'm stressed, which is so not the case, at least not at the moment. I'm actually quite stoked (brah) for a number of reasons.

Thanksgiving weekend positively ruled. And I hope yours did, too.
In 19 days, my pudgy brew belly will be sprawled out on a beach towel in Kauai.
Approximately 35% of my gift list is complete.
The Carpenters Christmas Portrait album.
Seasonal beer.
Seasonal beer.
Seasonal beer.

When a really, really good beer is available only once a year, it's a pretty big deal when that beer makes its annual arrival. But when it's released only once in a lifetime? That takes a whole new level of planning, especially when it comes to issues of storage space, consumption and your willingness to share with others.

The Bruery created a series called The 12 Beers of Christmas. Every year, for 12 years, a new beer is brewed for the corresponding gift given in the song. They kicked off the series in 2008 with Partridge in a Pear Tree. In 2009, it was 2 Turtle Doves, brewed with cocoa nibs, pecans and caramel malts (mmm...turtle candies.)

For the 2010 holiday season, my true lush gave to me:

Holy sweet tidings.

Those Bruery folks can brew no wrong.
(Har? Fine, no har.)

But seriously, this stuff is fantastic.

Sadly, I never had the opportunity to sample the first two in the series, not by choice but by lack of distribution in this area. Therefore, I plan on securing the nine remaining gifts and cellaring them in a safe, dark place until 12 Drummers Drumming is released in 2019. That, my friends, is going to be a very merry Christmas.

Looking for a cool gift idea for the ale lover in your life? Here you go. Start with a bottle 3 French Hens and, chances are, he or she will most likely covet the entire collection going forward. That takes care of one person on your list for the next 9 years. Beats giving a one year membership to the Jelly of the Month Club.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-24T09:18:00.005-05:00

I'm taking a post break so that I focus on making this ridiculous pumpkin tart (thanks Wendi @ Bon Appetit Hon!) and spending time with my crazy awesome Brady Bunch family.

Have a happy, relaxing, warm, chaotic, blissful, memorable, elasticized-waistbanded Thanksgiving, everyone.

Sugared Cinema: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part I (2010)

2010-11-19T01:32:00.005-05:00

It all ends here.

As Harry Potter Week draws to a close, I just wanted to thank you guys for politely putting up with my fanaticism (smiling through clenched teeth, I'm sure) but most of all, for taking the time to comment and enter the giveaway! I really enjoyed reading all of your movie-going quirks and techniques...who knew snack smuggling was such a common thing? If anyone figures out a way to sneak in beer (oh hai Mia and Kristin) without it getting warm or losing its fizz, find me.

Without further ado, the winner of the $25 Fandango Movie Gift Card giveaway is:

RANDOM.ORG

Here are your random numbers:

Timestamp: 2010-11-19 12:04:11 EST

Congratulations Jami! Send me your email address at threebakingsheets [at] yahoo [dot] com.

For the last HP-related recipe, I was feeling inspired by Fred and George Weasley, who are known for always injecting some humor into an otherwise dreary situation. Dark times are ahead...might as well go out with a bang, right?

Exploding Bonbons

Recipe from About.com

Here's what you'll need:

6 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped or chips

4 ounces heavy cream

5 packets of Pop Rocks

12 ounces chocolate candy coating (for dipping)

Pour the chocolate into a medium heat-safe bowl.

In a small saucepan set over medium heat, bring the cream to a simmer.

Pour the hot cream over the chocolate and let it sit for a minute. Whisk the chocolate and cream until smooth.

Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and let the ganache chill in the fridge for 3 hours while you watch Half-Blood Prince to recap.

Line a baking sheet with foil. Scoop small amounts of ganache into your hand and roll into 3/4-inch balls. The chocolate needs some coercing when you're trying to make them round. Really get into it. Don't be afraid to make that truffle your bitch.

After you've rolled them all out, pour 4 packages of Pop Rocks onto a shallow plate. I found these Candy Cane flavored Pop Rocks at Michael's but you can use any flavor you want.

Roll the balls in the Pop Rocks and return to the baking sheet.

Slide the pan of truffles into the freezer for 5-10 minutes while you prepare the dipping chocolate. If you can't fit them in the freezer, the fridge is fine, too.

In a small bowl, melt the chocolate candy coating according to the directions on the package.

Take the truffles out of the fridge. One by one, dip them in the melted chocolate, making sure they're fully covered. Use a fork to lift them out, tapping the side of the bowl to take off any excess chocolate. Place them on the baking sheet and sprinkle some of the Pop Rocks from the remaining package on top as a cute garnish.

Educational Decree Number Sixty-Seven: Exploding bon-bons are no longer permitted to explode. Hand in immediately to Ministry disposal unit.

Umbridge can bite me.

Alright, go on. Go and enjoy your weekends, everyone.

Harry Potter Week: Treacle Tart

2010-11-18T00:22:00.002-05:00

They chose the one nearest a gold-colored cauldron that was emitting one of the most seductive scents Harry had ever inhaled: somehow it reminded him simultaneously of treacle tart, the woody smell of a broomstick handle, and something flowery he thought he might have smelled at the Burrow.

Now would be a good time for one of those "Woooooo!" clips they play on Saved By the Bell when one of the cast members gets some lip action.

Alright, alright...settle down. We need to focus on what's really important here: the fact that the first thing that comes to Harry's mind when he gets a whiff of Amortentia (the strongest love potion in the world) is a baked good.

And this is why he is the Chosen One. Well, one of the reasons why.

Treacle Tart

Recipe from Evelyn on Food.com

Here's what you'll need:

pie crust pastry for a 9" tart

1/2 cup rolled oats

1 teaspoon lemon zest

1/4 teaspoon ground ginger

1 cup golden syrup*

2 Tablespoons lemon juice

whipped cream, for garnish

If you're not familiar with the stuff, golden syrup is a sweetener made from syrups that remain after sugar is removed from the refining process (thanks Wiki.) It's popular in the UK and the most well-known brand is Lyle's.

If you can't find it in your local grocery stores, you can order it online. Or, if you're fortunate enough to live in the vicinity of a World Market, you can score some there. They have an awesome imported foods section. And throw pillow section. And rug section. And glassware section. And...

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.

Roll out your pastry and press into a tart pan. Trim off any of the excess dough. You'll want to use it for the top of your tart.

In a small bowl, combine the oats, lemon zest and ginger.

Sprinkle half of the oat mixture over the pastry. Pour the golden syrup on top.

Drizzle the lemon juice over the syrup then sprinkle the remaining oat mixture on top.

Roll out those dough scraps from earlier and cut them in strips to make a lattice top. To think this technique used to look impossible when I was a kid. It's all an illusion!

Bake for about 30 minutes or until the crust is golden brown.

Oops. Sides are a bit high.

Treacle tart is a simple, comforting dessert that takes very few ingredients to make (assuming you use pre-made pie crust pastry like I did) but it's also very, very sweet. Just a heads up. Whipped cream really helps cut down on some of that sugariness.

Love potion. With a crust.

Harry Potter Week: Pumpkin Pasties

2010-11-17T01:01:00.005-05:00

"Anything off the cart, dears?"

Harry had never had any money for candy with the Dursleys, and now that he had pockets rattling with gold and silver he was ready to buy as many Mars Bars as he could carry - but the woman didn't have Mars Bars. What she did have were Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, Drooble's Best Blowing Gum, Chocolate Frogs, Pumpkin Pasties, Cauldron Cakes, Licorice Wands, and a number of other strange things Harry had never seen in his life. Not wanting to miss anything, he got some of everything and paid the woman eleven silver Sickles and seven bronze Knuts.
Ron stared as Harry brought it all back in to the compartment and tipped it onto an empty seat.

"Hungry, are you?"

"Starving," said Harry, taking a large bite out of a pumpkin pasty.

See, that's something you just don't get out of the movie. The food cravings. How can you read that and not crave a pumpkin pasty? Granted, my knowledge of pasties prior to reading The Sorcerer's Stone had less to do with pumpkin and more to do with sweater puppies...but now? Pasties will always and forever be Harry's first taste of sweet, flaky freedom on the Hogwarts Express.

Pumpkin Pasties

Recipe from Britta Blvd.

Here's what you'll need:

pumpkin pie filling, prepared (see below)
pie crust pastry, enough for one 9-inch pie

For the filling, use your own favorite pumpkin pie recipe. I went the easy route and used the classic recipe on the back of the Libby can.

For the crust, you can use your own recipe or take another shortcut and buy it pre-made. I bought the Pillsbury refrigerated crusts - my new favorite baking staple.

Preheat your oven to 425 degrees.

Prepare the pumpkin pie filling and pour it into a large, ovenproof dish (the crust will come later.) Let it bake for 15 minutes then reduce the temperature to 350 degrees and bake for another 45 minutes or so. When a knife inserted in the center comes out clean, take it out and let it cool on a rack.

Corner bites taken for scientific purposes.

Once the filling has cooled down a bit and you're ready to make your pasties, heat the oven to 400 degrees. Grease or use parchment paper to line a baking sheet.

Thinly roll out the pie crust and cut into 4-inch circles. If you don't have a cookie cutter, use a wide drinking glass.

Spoon a small dollop of pumpkin pie filling onto each pastry circle.

Fold the crust over, forming a little pocket and seal the edges with a fork.

Using a sharp knife, give the top a few steam vents.

Lightly brush each pasty with an egg wash and sprinkle with sugar. Or leave them plain. Totally your call.

Bake for 8-10 minutes or until the crusts are golden brown. Let them cool down.

These definitely qualify as a fun food. Right up there with animal crackers and dino-shaped "nuggets."

Perfect size for smuggling into a theater. This weekend.

Enjoy, friends!

Harry Potter Week: A Giveaway!

2010-11-16T00:15:00.007-05:00

You know when you recommend a favorite band or movie or book to someone and, even though they initially show some interest, you sorta already know that they won't listen to or watch or read your suggestion?

Yeah, lame.

So then you know how awesome it feels when someone actually follows through with your suggestion. It's grand! You get genuine excitement out of it and your automatic reaction is to grab them by the shoulders, give them a few hard shakes and scream into their face, "GET OUT! What did you think?!" Instant bonus points to that person for taking interest and not pressing charges.

But sometimes people need a little incentive. With the right blend of Red Bull and Jessie Spano pills, I could talk Deathly Hallows for days (and lose a good number of readers, friends and risk possible family disownage.) Instead, I'm giving away a $25 Fandango Movie Gift Card so that one lucky reader can witness the beginning of the end on their own.

How to win? Leave a comment answering this question:

What kind of movie-goer are you?

Do you arrive early to score the money seat? Do you load up at the concession stand or smuggle in your own goods? Are you an "opening weekend" or "wait until the hype dies down" type?

The contest is open to US residents (sorry non-USers) and ends Thursday, November 18 @ 11:59pm EST. The winner will be selected at random and announced in Friday's Sugared Cinema post.

Good luck! Now would be a good time to drink that Felix Felicis you've been stashing.

Harry Potter Week: Butterbeer

2010-11-15T00:26:00.005-05:00

In four days, the hunt for horcruxes continues.

In four days, we get to see Severus Snape sporting a longer, piece-y-er 'do.

In four days, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I hits the theaters.

Dude(s.)

As if making you sit through my Hogwarts slideshow a few weeks ago wasn't torture enough, this week we're celebrating Friday's epic cinematic arrival with some HP-related treats.

Butterbeer is easily the most well-known out of all the food and drink mentioned in the books. I scoured the internet for a recipe that would closely replicate the J.K. Rowling-approved butterbeer served at The Wizarding World theme park. I used a recipe from Dana Zia's blog and it was exactly what I was hoping it would be: freakin' delicious.

The Three Broomsticks Butterbeer

Recipe from The Go Lightly Gourmet

Makes two Butterbeers

Here's what you'll need:

1 Tablespoon butter

1 cup unfiltered apple cider

3-4 Wether's Original candies or caramels

1 Tablespoon of mulling spices*

1 12-ounce bottle cream soda

*I didn't have mulling spices so I added a few dashes each of cinnamon, cloves and nutmeg

In a small saucepan set over medium heat, melt the butter. Add the cider, mulling spices and candies.

Stir constantly until the candies have melted.

Remove from heat and strain the mixture. Let it cool down a bit.

Failed attempt at conjuring a patronus in the measuring cup.

Divide the mixture between two glasses.

Top if off with the cream soda.

Mmm. A nice little sugar buzz waiting to happen.

If you want a little extra warmth in your cheeks, spike it with some apple brandy or rum. Enjoy, muggles.

(Four days!)

Sugared Cinema: Wayne's World (1992)

2010-11-12T07:42:00.004-05:00

Uh, Wayne?

Yeah?

Do you ever get the feeling Benjamin's just using us?

Good call. It's like he wants us to be liked by everyone. I mean Led Zeppelin didn't write tunes everybody liked. They left that to the Bee Gees.

Wayne's World had a lot more going for it than all the other SNL sketch-based movies. Let's take a look:

Mike Myers

Dana Carvey

a mobile rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody

Milwaukee: Its History, Its Pronunciation by Alice Cooper

Delaware
The Graduate: The Remix

Stan Mikita's Donuts

In 1994, King's Dominion, our semi-local amusement park, added two Wayne's World-themed attractions to the park: a wooden coaster affectionately named The Hurler and a Stan Mikita's. I'm not sure if you could actually buy donuts there or if it was just a gift shop. Either way, I remember thinking it was pretty sweet when I was 14. Since then, Stan Mikita's has been turned into a generic diner and The Hurler has been stripped of all its Wayne's World likenesses.

But after 18 years, Wayne's World is still one of my favorite 90's movies. And without fail, I'm always left with a craving for red rope licorice, Doritos and, most of all, donuts.

Baked Donuts

Recipe via Steel City Flan (thanks Billie!)

Here's what you'll need:

1 1/3 cups warm milk, 95-105 degrees

2 1/4 teaspoons active dry yeast

2 Tablespoons unbutter, diced

2/3 cup granulated sugar

2 eggs

5 cups all-purpose flour

pinch of nutmeg

pinch of cinnamon

1 teaspoon salt

Line a few baking sheets with parchment paper.

In the bowl of an electric mixer, combine 1/3 cup of the milk and the yeast. Let it sit for five minutes.

Add the butter and sugar to the remaining milk.

Stir well then pour into the yeast mixture.

Add the eggs, flour, nutmeg, cinnamon and salt to the yeast mixture. Use a fork to stir until all of the flour is moistened.

Attach the dough hook then beat the dough for two minutes on medium. You want it to be smooth, not sticky. Feel free to add a little milk or flour until the dough reaches the right consistency.

Transfer the dough to a greased bowl and cover it with a towel. Place the bowl in a warm area and let it do its thing for an hour.

Lightly degas the dough (knead out some of the air.) Flour your working surface then roll out your dough to 1/2-inch thickness.

Use a 3-inch round cutter to cut out your donuts.

Transfer the little dough rounds to the baking sheets.

Use a smaller round cutter to cut out the hole.

Cover the donuts and let them rise for 45 minutes.

Bake at 375 degrees for about 8-10 minutes or until the bottoms are a light golden brown.

Move the donuts to a cooling rack then doll them up. Glaze 'em, powder 'em, dip 'em in chocolate. I used Alton Brown's glaze recipe.

It will be mine. Oh yes. It will be mine.

Zang.

Well, that's all the time we had for our movie. We hope you found it entertaining, whimsical and yet relevant, with an underlying revisionist conceit that bullied the films emotional attachments to the subject matter.

Party on.

The Past 48 Hours.

2010-11-09T00:47:00.005-05:00